最近新加坡有个关于新婚，再婚和离婚的报告。数据让人不禁怀疑，婚姻是否还有意
义。

对我而言，男女之情，有如溺爱与无私爱的拔河。理性和感性的平衡点。
重了理性，少了感性，爱情变成石板的方程式，如何维持。
重了感性，少了理性，爱情像个无头苍蝇，缺乏方向。

爱就像慈悲的火苗，从私爱奢华成亲情。从亲情奢华成大爱。
慈悲也充实，圆满了爱。

两人的结合如结合了两个世界。虽然不能也很难放下自己的世界，所以只有靠圆融
的智慧才能延续爱情。两人的结合也能看似同体共身的结合。一方出了事，另一方
不可能见死不救。爱情也像跳舞，适当的进退，才能融洽的配合。

爱也需有共同的生活态度，人生的目标。勉强的配合与讨好，旧了就变成了累赘。
恋人如果只靠占有，以激情为爱情的粮食，那感亲情变成了需要，而不是彼此的激
励。

人生就像是过眼烟云，如果把爱情当成存在的理由，到人生的劲头，才悔恨虚度光
阴。

Y Talk on Interdependence

Talk was held at Bras Besah. Y Talk is an initiative by KMSPKS temple. The speaker of the night is Bro Shi'an.

Although a basic aspect of the Dharma, this topic can be quite differently delivered by each speaker and here I am trying to see how bro Shi'an had for us on this topic on interdependence. Anyway interdepence is coined to interdependence origination and probably most Chinese Mahayanist will be more familiar with the phrase 缘起性空.

In chinese Mahayana we emphasis alot on emptiness "性空" and as from the Heart Sutra, it has been stated that form is emptiness and emptiness is form. So we can not understand interdependence without concept of emptiness and understanding emptiness without touching on interdepence.

All beings are actually part of existence of a whole. Although we thing that things have definite shape and we thought we humans are a single entity but looking closer, our skins that bounds the bodily shape is filled with pores. And there are always influx and air into our body and our body excreting sweat to the environment.

Interdependence can also be illustrated by the Net of Indra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indra%27s_net). Imagine a big 3D net that covers throughout the universe. In its inter-locking knots, there is a radiant gem which reflects the radiant of other gems totally. Beings are seen as the gems and the net connects everyone of us.

This is to say whatever we do we affect other people. And whatever other people do, affects us. This theory applies to creation and all existence.

Bro Shi'an then move to talk slightly on being a vegan (strict vegetarian) where how choosing our diet can affect the world and in fact on survivability of all species on earth. This gives the idea of what kind of world are we giving to our fellow latter generations to come. We might think that that's non of our business but if we believe in the notion of rebirth, then its really our concern.

This short clip talks about how actually going on a plan of vegetarian weekdays can easily help the world. It just mean being vegetarian for Mon to Fri and eat freely for weekends. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/graham_hill_weekday_vegetarian.html

Here is a website for Singapore Vegetarian Society where there is a database to find all vegetarian yummies around you http://www.vegetarian-society.org/

He also talk about how number of honey bees of the world are declining and its believe that once bees gets wipe out from the globe, human will get extinct in 4days!

Bro Shi'an ends the talk on about the bystander effect. He spoke about a true incident that happens to a murder of a woman in the middle of a town where no one in the town stand out to help the dying woman. And reason is they all think their other neigbours will do something. We buddhist should also be always ready to stand up to misunderstanding on Buddhism by non-buddhist, of course in a non aggressive way.

Hope to see you in other Y Talks :)

Doing

Inevitably we often thought that the way of realisation is through doing. This comes to the point where Zen masters say chan is about walking,staying, seating and sleeping. That derives the point that chan is doing, chan is eating and chan is even doing big things.

But we do see people and sometimes even ourself during our path of practise we get frustrated, and even lost our meaning in doing. Somethings we expect to do alot and "faithfully" thought some Devas and Buddhas will see us in good light. But I do wonder does a clay statutue really listens to us :) And if even they do, are we doing the right things? Expecting less we have lesser worries. And without mindfulness, doing becomes a chore and all we get is tireness.

To quote from Ajahn Brahm "Simply this moment - chapter on Between the observer and the observed,

The point is where do greed, hatred and delusion live? Where do the five hindrances go? Do they live in your body? Do they live in the food you eat? Do they live in the bricks you lay or the broom or the leaves you are sweeping?

This is an important point not only to your success as a monastic and to your harmony with friends and other monks, but also to your process in meditation. Those hindrance do not live in then broom, nor do they live in your citta (mind). They live between you and the object.....

Too often people put their mindfulness on the object or put their mindfulness on the observer....When you put your mindfulness in the middle, then it is not what you are doing that matters but how you are relating to it......When you know where mindfulness should be put, the path of meditation, the path of Liberation.......

The mindfulness, the awareness of that can actually see where craving comes from, where pride comes from, where ill will comes from, and where fear comes from because that is its breeding ground......

To realise and being mindful of the arising of greed, hatred and delusion from the interactions between the object of doing and the doing leads to realisation. So it doesn't matter what you do and where you are helping. It matters more in the mindfulness of the defilements and how your mind reacts to it.

Simply mimicking the story of realisation of the Zen master is akin to apprehending whether the tea is hot from other people drinking it.